methinks

~{f]H;R;Im~}

(To see the Chinese characters, go to: View > Encoding > Chinese > hz-gb2312)

I am now one man alone in the world. David has moved to Chengdu to study, and I remain to finish what I started.

It is both frightening and liberating. When you live so close to someone (across the hall), someone who is also an outsider in a reserved society, it is hard not to pair-off and see each other - as my students like to put it - as partners. You take meals together. You go on holidays together. You isolate and shield each other from challenging social situations. And the community completes the circle by labeling you as 'partners'. Inviting you as a pair. Expecting you to know the whereabouts of the other any time you are apart (which you probably do). So with David's departure, I not only lose a friend, but I lose my excuse. The circle is broken. It is no longer us and them, but just me living in China. I must improve my Chinese. I must make more friends, or I will remain one man alone in the world. It's a scary prospect.

But at the same time it has given me a new freedom. Living with Americans - first Alf, then David - gave me a 'safe' environment. But you can't leave the pavement with your training wheels on. Life will have its bumps, but in the end I hope it's a good ride.